how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
