please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
