Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
