She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
