he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
