it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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