and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize