I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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