I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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