Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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