And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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