ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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