Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
