Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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