yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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