we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
