Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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