omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
