I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
