I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
