Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
