I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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