we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
