Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
