He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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