Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
