haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
