It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
