So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
