September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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