i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
