Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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