dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
