His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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