Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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