Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
