I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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