Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
