Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
do nipples grow back?
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