Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
