GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
