is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she peed on how many people?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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