he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
