I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
