I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
