found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
