Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
