She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
