My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
