Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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