If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
