4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
